He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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