i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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