Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
