The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
