wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
