Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize