I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
