Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
