i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
