remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
