Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her