she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
