I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
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Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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