I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
