oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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