PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
