clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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