ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can I color on your dick again?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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