thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I AM VODKA MAN
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
