woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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