remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
