I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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