:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
