I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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