why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
