he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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