I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
