my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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