So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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