i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
