She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
