I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
