Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
