so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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