I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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