You can't motorboat a personality
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
