Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize