This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
