i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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