Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
