I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
