hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
