im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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