We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
