just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
