Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
