sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
