new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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