why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
