PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
