You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
