So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Your tits are I can't wait for
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
