Just fell off a train. Bad.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize