I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
