I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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