this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
