I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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