I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
