Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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