thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
